Like a dog spinning in a ring several times before laying down - why doesn’t he just do it already - laying down is easily better than deliberating - I have been thinking at the bookends of each day, of making progress on many things.

I want to get off social media and spotify. I want to quit web 2.0. I want to see what I look like outside of someone else’s frame. Even this website is held too tightly in a frame. This is a start.

If I want to make a simple list of things on my computer, I must deliberate greatly over what type of list it is and what future occasions I might like to refer to it. Something as simple as this is trapped in an ecosystem. That’s how they get ya, etc etc. I’m curious what other little pieces of myself are similarly trapped, trapped without my knowing, that may be freed by resisting the platform-ification of everything, the hosting-of-elsewhere. A note is never really in your hand anymore. It’s very very far away. Even these words are hosted elsewhere. This is just a start.

So I have rung and rung and rung about the idea of writing words messily here instead of making neat but inaccurate vignettes on instagram or twitter. “Nothing will come of it,” I say while circling. That is my web 2.0 mind speaking. The timelines are hungry and they have taught me well to feed myself to them.

So this stupid blog is maybe just a tool to avoid giving in, to remember that the cloud wants to eat me, to resist becoming its breakfast lunch and dinner, or at least resist tasting good.

Another sleeping place I have been hovering above is the idea of giving up drinking for a bit.

I don’t want to give up drinking. It’s one of the only things I do each day that makes me happy. I don’t think it is destroying me or anything so terrible. Sometimes it helps me dream and see the future and feel optimistic. Unlike the simple pointlessness of starting a blog as a reason not to do it, the thought of not drinking makes me bristle. Maybe there’s something valuable on the other side of that. It will be tough finding out.

So this stupid blog is maybe also a tool to avoid giving in, to remember that alcohol doesn’t always love me back, to resist drinking.